So naive..

Someone said something to me today...

That I didn't know what "it" was about. It being relationships. And that I'm trying to live in an ideal world (that doesn't exist).

What a reality check! But I think that person was right. And it made me think. And I came to realise that I am naive. And I am trying to live in an ideal world - waiting for Mr. Perfect to come along and sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset and we'll live happily ever after. But apparently (and obviously) that's not the way it works in this world we live in. Don't know why I never realised it before.

But I like what a good friend of mine said about his status: Single but not available.

That's a label I've been carrying around lately. I'm single but I'm not looking to be with someone.

My reasons are that I'm too busy with university, and I'm enjoying my life as a single person - I have the rest of my life to be attached, so what's the hurry?

My fears are that I don't know how to love someone that way, and that relationships can be very superficial when both parties don't have the time or energy to put into it, and also if its goal is not something for the long term. There's also a fear of putting myself out there - making myself vulnerable to another person, consciously choosing to let someone really know me, weaknesses and quirks and all, risking the chance that they may not like what they see.

I guess that leads to another reason why I'm single but not available. I'm choosy, I don't see anything wrong with knowing what you want, but at the same time keeping things within reasonable limits. Which also means that I mostly only let my heart into anything after I've thought things through (not saying things never happened the other way around or that I always think things through... but I'm working on it, I don't want to end up hurting anyone by deciding later on that I've made the wrong decision!).

Anyway just some thoughts, time to get back to the books! I have a medical ethics, medical law and human rights paper on Wednesday! Then it's Surgery on Friday and then Medicine on Monday, and I go home Tuesday! Yayyyy :)

I'll leave you with some pictures from Esther's 21st on Friday :)

The birthday girl and her adoring fans ;)

This is Angela :) And myself :)

:) Housemates!