April 09

Long time since my last post... Tis the way things go sometimes - well, a lot of the time. But that's alright. No one reads my blog anyway, and its more like an outlet than anything else. Facebook and twitter make it so easy to keep in touch, so blogs are kind of out these days =)

Another recurring theme in my life - fair weather friends. Friends who are friends for a season. I'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with ME. You know that when something keeps happening to you - and you keep finding you're the victim, its time to examine yourself. I think I'm a pretty good friend. Which is my problem, maybe I'm not as good as I think I am. I've been hurt so many times by so many different people who I thought were good friends of mine, I wonder what it is I do to repel them.

Sometimes its misunderstandings, other times its just "growing apart"
- Reading a situation wrong.
- Taking things to heart, taking offense.
- Unforgiveness. Putting up walls so you don't get hurt again.
- Not taking time out to spend with that friend.
- Being too busy. Not being understanding about people's schedules.
- Being hard hearted.
- Realizing certain friendships are so one-sided.
- Not bothering to care because you got bored with dealing with the same problems over and over again. And then realizing I care too much - but that my opinions/advice don't matter one bit. Well, what do I know anyway - I'm just a random person you decided to call your friend.

Maybe my perception is severely skewed. Maybe I've changed? Maybe I've grown out of some friendships and I don't bother - don't give a damn. Which is so unlike me. But if you don't want to work on this friendship, why should I keep trying to make it work?

I'm so thankful for the friendships I have that I know will last a lifetime. The ones that won't change - even without seeing each other for years. The ones who think of you often, and keep you in their prayers - and vice versa. The ones who I'll be sitting with when I'm an old grandmother =) I love you guys - you know who you are.