You've been used? Kinda hurts my heart when I realise I've been used.
Not trying to blow my own horn or anything. But I think I'd be the sort of person you could rely on to be there for you when you're going through crap. I know that when I am there for someone, I really am there. I feel as sad as they do, as angry, as stressed out, and depressed. You name it - I feel it with you. I go out of my way to help them through and make them laugh or smile again.
But when its all over and things are all honky dory... What happens then?
I sometimes find myself booted out of that person's life. Everything's just dandy now, so they get back to living their lives. Doing what they used to before the crisis happened. And continue living their lives without me. Use me like a tissue and throw me out with the trash.
It hurts a lot. You'd think that after you go through something so huge that you'd be closer as friends or that you'd make more of an effort to hang out and stuff. But no.. I hate it when I come to this point and realise that I've been used.
Maybe they then associate being with me to the time that we went through together? That makes a little sense, but not enough. Maybe its that I'm only good at one thing; that I'm a good shoulder? Maybe, maybe, maybe... Maybe someone could enlighten me?
It's a crappy feeling but.. Sure, this isn't the first time and I don't think it's going to be the last time or that there's ever going to be a last time. I love my friends more than enough to be there for them, doesn't matter what happens after that.
Not trying to blow my own horn or anything. But I think I'd be the sort of person you could rely on to be there for you when you're going through crap. I know that when I am there for someone, I really am there. I feel as sad as they do, as angry, as stressed out, and depressed. You name it - I feel it with you. I go out of my way to help them through and make them laugh or smile again.
But when its all over and things are all honky dory... What happens then?
I sometimes find myself booted out of that person's life. Everything's just dandy now, so they get back to living their lives. Doing what they used to before the crisis happened. And continue living their lives without me. Use me like a tissue and throw me out with the trash.
It hurts a lot. You'd think that after you go through something so huge that you'd be closer as friends or that you'd make more of an effort to hang out and stuff. But no.. I hate it when I come to this point and realise that I've been used.
Maybe they then associate being with me to the time that we went through together? That makes a little sense, but not enough. Maybe its that I'm only good at one thing; that I'm a good shoulder? Maybe, maybe, maybe... Maybe someone could enlighten me?
It's a crappy feeling but.. Sure, this isn't the first time and I don't think it's going to be the last time or that there's ever going to be a last time. I love my friends more than enough to be there for them, doesn't matter what happens after that.
I feel like a tissue box.
What's gonna happen when I run out of tissues? I hope that day never comes.
2 comments:
Hmm.. been there Stace.. I know exactly how you feel but perhaps the impact is worse for you..because I try not to get myself too involved in their crisis.. at least not emotionally.. but God will provide.. He will comfort you.. He knows.. He listens to you.. so.. you cant ask for a better comforter, friend and listener than Jesus himself right..
Yup that's definitely right :)
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